I am just realizing that the one person who lifted me, encouraged me, and put me priority above much in her life, is now no longer here and I feel her loss. In a selfish way, I miss her admiration of me, which really just served as an encouragement in my life. I am finding much in my life is falling away in my 50's, which I am not super keen on. But when things fall away it makes room for new things. This is a general rule in my home... before bringing things in the home we must first take some things out in order to make space.
This life at 50 something is not what I had imagined it would be at all. I am disappointed if I do say so. I have now lost my mother-in-law, my father, and the better part of my father-in-law. The best part about my 50's currently is the relationship Eric and I share. Our support and love and care of each other is life-sustaining even in the ache of loss. I am his and he is mine. We are and should be the most important person in each other's lives. The other pretty great part of where we are in our lives, is our boys and wives live relatively nearby - a parent couldn't ask for more.
Even when I feel depleted, I am full.
