*and again I say rejoice?

There are few shows on TV that I give my time to, but one of the things I like to watch is Parenthood.  It is real.  Real life is acted out as if it might be in my home or your home, of course it isn't a real life family.

Today I want to share with you a "real" life moment in our family's lives.  I  normally share with you all quilting projects, farm related post or maybe a recipe but today will be a little different.  If you have ever been deeply hurt by a Christian friend this may (or may not) be helpful to you.

A few months ago our entire family was effected by the reactions, words and actions of a long time friend and several members of their family.  We have known each other for a long time and bonded in friendship years ago as well as attended the same church.  Christians are not perfect. Right? I am bound to Christ Jesus as my Lord and Savior but I know that I am a miserable sinner only saved by Grace.  As are my friends, I mean, I guess we are still friends.

Something happened between our families, something harsh.   I will not go into all of the details because that is not my purpose in sharing today.  I have loved these people for years. I longed for a friendship with this person for a while, and one day (many years ago) we did develop a friendship that ended up being very sisterly like.    Even though some very harsh things took place, accusations were spoken about one of my family members,  deceptive behavior that portrayed friendship, acceptance and egging on of a particular situation only to reveal later that it was all backwards and then later some very cruel accusations were spoken.  OK. I know all of that probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense.  Let me just say, my family has been effected by this in some most hurtful ways.  I decided early on that I still loved these people very much. After all, we are all fallen people saved by grace. First I was terribly confused, terribly.  My first reaction was that I wanted to forgive.  I forgave. I am continuing to work on forgiving.  Since I am being very transparent with you, I must confess that on some days I feel such hurt and pain as do my other family members that I am not sure how we will ever get past this.  I continued to send text messages and commented on FB post as I normally would have - until just this past week when I got an error message stating that I had been BLOCKED from sending text messages or calling this line.  I am sure you can imagine how heart broken I was.  I mean, if anyone should be blocking anyone it should be me - that is me just being honest.  Of course blocking never even occurred to me, never crossed my mind.  And since I have now been blocked  it is apparent to me that they wish to have nothing to do with me or my family and I can't imagine that they would be interested in reading our family blog either. 

I am a Christian and I am human.  I am sure you can imagine the pain and shock that I was going through when I sent a text that got a return message automatically stating my text couldn't go through.   I immediately chose to try and understand. I started to work out reasons why this might have had to take place.  No one ever asked me not to continue to converse with them.  I went from mostly being at peace, trusting God that He would work things out for the good of all involved to being confused, a bit angry - OK, a lot angry to back now trusting God in all of this.  I am even beginning to come to a place of praising Him in the midst, trusting that He has worked it out for the best of what concerns our family members.  It is not easy but I want to walk in peace, I want to give up trying  to figure this crazy mess out and on some days I do better than others.  It is a daily decision.

I will not lie, this dear family is on my heart and mind every single day. Some who read this may say, whoa, that is a problem.  Maybe.  I believe that I am called to forgiveness maybe reconciliation wont come- that I am not sure of just yet, but forgiveness is what I am called to and with me renewing my mind every day before Christ I am able. It is only when I get distracted, allow words I read or heard replay in my mind that I get off track.   One of these family members at one point during all of this told me that even believers would be at each others throats based on prophecy - well not this believer.   For me that is just not acceptable.

No matter how much pain, hurt, suffering we walk through, whether it be from an unbeliever or a believer the only way to make it through to the other side is with Christ by our sides.   How other do we get through such turbulent times? I ask you, how?   Find someone who you can count on to turn you back to Christ and His promises when you are in need of refocusing when you are struggling.  My someone has been an reflection of the Rock to me, encouraging me and pointing me back when I get off track. 

I suppose I find myself with a sorrowful heart but continuing to keep rejoicing in my spirit.   I have to believe that He (God) has allowed these actions to take place to reveal things that would have otherwise been unknown.  Honestly, since this family will not converse with ours, I have to really trust my heart to seek Him to understand.  I realize that hearts are deceitful above all and I also realize that understanding may never come.   I don't know how this part of the chapter in our lives will end. I can't begin to tell you what will change in our lives because we make vows  not to do.. dot, dot, dot ... based on our hurts. I can't being to tell you how it is that God will use this because we will choose well and not make those vows.   I would hope and do pray that at some point the wounds and scars that have been made will receive a healing balm to bring full cleansing.    It may be that an apology will come or  an explanation or it may be that neither will never come. Either way we have to choose for it to be well with our soul.

This is what I want me, my husband and two wonderful young men to experience....




I will not quote scriptures that have ministered to and spoken to our hearts during this time, for I know that as you seek God , He will be faithful to speak to you personally as well.  If you are walking through a similar situation, it is my hope that you too will be able to daily say, It is well with my soul!

*getting away (burdens in tow)

Do you ever feel like you just need to "get away?" Yeah. I have had one of those kinds of patches, I am sure we have all had one of those kinds of spots in the road from time to time.  I am experienced enough in life to know that I can't change my scenery and loose my issues, burdens or problems.   Due to some disappointing changes in some long standing plans, and after talking to my dear husband, I set out to the foot hills! A place where I could turn off the phone, power it down to be still if need be. 

This is how my days worth of driving started out, along Alabama's roads.

Sometimes life can take you quite by surprise, just remember it doesn't change who God is. Sometimes we struggle a bit along the way as we desperately long to make sense of what is going on in our personal world, just remember God has it all already worked out.  Just an encouragement when things look so wrong, so backwards - we have to believe that He is still in control.  And I don't mean like a last resort thing... even as hard as it is in certain situations you find yourself facing today, we must choose to believe that He is in control.

Somewhere in between Florida and North Carolina, majesty all the way (even Atlanta)

May you find peace in all that you are facing today.  May you start to see things with different eyes if you are finding that you are struggling and stuck at a certain spot.  Whether you are able to change your scenery a bit or not, He is faithful to come and restore us right where we are. It only requires us to surrender. (which can take some of us longer than others - known from my own experiences of course)

Top of Mount Mitchell, NC. Simple stunning. Even though I had a migraine this day, I enjoyed this time abundantly!

 Surrendering daily,

 

*It is well

Difficulties will come, this is told to us by the Word of God, so this we know we cannot escape.  I bet you have had times that seem to knock you off your feet, shake your faith a bit, and then you settle down into His arms.  It is the only safe place, that you can find peace.  I encourage you today if your world have been rocked a bit, settle in with the True God, snuggle in and hold on. Even if things around you seem askew, and you don't have answers to some of the questions that are stampeding around in your precious head, it can be well with your soul.  It is a choice you have to make, an action has to take place regarding the happenings that has rocked you.   Because I know that God is not sleeping, He is not on vacation, He is alert and my troubles rest in His lap so it can be well with my soul.   It doesn't take the pain and hurt away, but God restores.

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well, with my soul.
   
   • It is well, with my soul,
     It is well, it is well, with my soul.
   •  
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

Here is a link to a study of this Hymn if you are interested in further study of it.  Click Here!

*not your normal "farm" feel good post

Do you know some one who has an addiction to a substance that seemingly controls them? Such things as alcohol, nicotine, prescription drugs, food or even others? You know I think for many of us it is just sickening. We can't even understand why someone would get hooked on such things and just stay there, well it is likely that we will never understand it, the ones doing don't understand it either. I know personally I have lived years being angry at my own father for his choices in his alcoholism. (I have written two other post on my beloved father, and I wish you to read them before you get any further. Go HERE, and HERE. Then proceed) That will give you a little background on my father.



Somehow along the way my father got a kink in his hose. You know, things stopped flowing out properly, and I have to believe that even as a young person, long before he imagined he would have three girls, he tried to figure out where the kink was.  Seemingly, by looking back at his past he really never figured out where the kink was or even how to give the finding of it over the Jesus. Does that make sense?  I don't even pretend to know what happened, why it happened or why it is that he has not been set free up til this day.  I am not saying that my dad lives a "hum drum depressed all the time" life (if you read the other two post you would read of some good times). But the constant of joy in his life has not been present.  I have to believe that forgiveness has played a big part in his life, or the lack there in.  And in so, the things that entered his life have had power over him, and that of course is not God's will for any of us. That something in our lives have power over us.  Forgiveness is not for the one who hurts us, for they may never know, but it is for us. Don't let unforgiveness kink the hose of your life, the source of water is there.

My father I think has dealt with some things over the last few years, he has become more tender in his older age. He has a lot of time alone to think and work through some things. I have to believe that God speaks to his heart. I trust that with all I am, whether it be through a show he watches that gets him thinking, or a kind action someone shows him, undeserved love from one of his daughters even when he is unloving or unkind, or even in dreams.  My sisters and I (as well as others)  have been calling out his name to our Father in Heaven for years now for his salvation. I believe that on this side, he will come fully wholeheartedly to Christ.

He has recently, well 2+ months ago, stopped consuming the poison that has slowly deteriorated his body over the last 45 years.  It is an addiction. He has tried to quit before. Succeeded for a short while. Will I say to myself... oh, we have been here before? NO. No I will not, I will say, Lord even if he doesn't know it is you, will You strengthen him to make it through? I have to believe for him even if he can't believe for himself. He even spoke of DT's a few weeks ago and how he got past them.  If you have someone in your life that is dealing with a similar situation I think you have to make your self available to them in deed and in love. Yes, he had a choice to make years ago and chose poorly, so what? I choose poorly often, but God doesn't withhold His love from me. I am not saying be an enabler at all, I am just saying it might help that person if you offer unconditional love.

If you have read this far (I don't normally like reading long post about people's personal lives whom I do not know, nor do I write about them that often), would you say a heart felt prayer for my father? This place he finds himself really is a battle, perhaps an out and out war!  I want to see him win. I want to see him have clarity of mind, a restored life and that fullness of life that Christ speaks of. Thanks in advance for your labor in prayer for my father, and thanks for reading this through, I guess my  daddy is heavy on my heart today.

*courage

Courage takes a certain amount of fear or it wouldn't be courage at all. Someone very dear in my life was recently faced with some decisions to make based on some amount of pondering that had taken place in his heart. These decisions did not come lightly, as he is a very heavy thinker and I can assure you that this is one of the (few) most courageous acts I have ever seen.

 Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage

Courage is the act of doing something in the face of the fear of the results, the not knowing the outcome. To act based on the courage of your convictions will lead you in places that are sometimes hard to walk in, or certainly not the easy path to walk down but always the best, surely.  Merriam Webster says it like this : mental or moral strength to venture persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.  

 Courage is doing what your afraid to do,  there can be no courage unless you are scared

I don't think we are faced with decisions daily or even frequently where we have opportunity to exercise courage, but when you were last faced with such a decision did you choose courage?  
 

*solace on the surf

Today was a day for solace, and I found my solace amidst loud shrieking children who were all having a great time running in and out of the waves.  The laughter of small children is something I haven't been around in a while, it was wonderful!  The beach was PACKED.

Many young students had driven to the beach for spring break as well.  It was obvious that I was either not at the family friendly beach or they were not at the Belle Glades (the partying beach in Fernandina Beach where I grew up).

The sounds (words) coming out of their mouths didn't bring the same delight as the innocent little children.  I wasn't offended, as I am not offended by curse words. I didn't really like what I heard, didn't want to be a party to it, but I wasn't offended by it. I know that their actions were sinful, so are some of my actions -some I am aware of, some I am not.  I bet it is the same way with them, some things they recognize as "wrong" or sinful, and somethings they don't yet recognize.  I pray that someone in their life is able to LIVE OUT Jesus to them in a real tangible way.

Para sailing seems to be really popular here on the Emerald Coast.  I think I would like to do this one day, but my DH said, "Have fun!"  I guess I wont be para sailing, because I would only want to do this with him.  I am not sure I want to pay the price they are asking anyway.

Crab Island was not terribly busy today, but just you wait! In a month or so from now this area will be crawling with people, boats, jet ski's, floating amusement toys etc.

*foot prints in the sand

About 18 months ago when we knew we were going to be moving to Florida we began making a list of things we wanted in what will ultimately be our retirement home, that is unless God see fit to move us elsewhere.

Some of the things on the list were:
 * close to beach
 * on the water
 * close to DH's work
 * a barn on the property
 * in the rural area
 * a pool
 * land
 * etc....
   

One of the things we finally marked off the list was "on the water". The water front properties that we looked at, whether it be on the bay, intercoastal waterway or other were just to high priced for our pocket books. And while I would have liked to be closer to the beach, being close to DH's work was in conflict with that, but 45 minutes is still close if you ask me. Today I took advantage of that and walked on the beautiful Emerald Coast before dusk.  It was rather windy and cool tonight, but lovely nonetheless!

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand -when I awake I am still with you.  ~Psalm 139:17-18

~Lynnie

*cattle upon a thousand hills

*from the rising to the setting

From the rising of the sun,

 to the place where it sets,

the name of the Lord,

 is to be praised, Praise the Lord!

I know the sun sets where it is you read from today, but these were just to beautiful not to share!  The last one I did a bit of editing, just for fun!

Psalm 113
1 Praise the LORD.

Praise the LORD, you his servants;
praise the name of the LORD.
2 Let the name of the LORD be praised,
both now and forevermore.
3 From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised.

4 The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.
5 Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,
6 who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?

7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
8 he seats them with princes,
with the princes of his people.
9 He settles the childless woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.

Praise the LORD.

*p.h.i.l.e.m.o.n.

This past weekend my sweet husband was swimming in a sea of estrogen!   He was a great sport as my sisters, Lori and Bridgette as well as two of Lori's friend's arrived at  our home Friday afternoon.  We had made plans months ago to attend the Living Proof (Beth Moore) Conference in Pensacola.  

The conference was a great time of teaching and worship.  I have never attended one of Beth's conferences but have participated in one of her Bible studies and will soon be doing the James study!

This weekend Beth spoke on the book of Philemon. One chapter. 25 Verses. 355 Greek words. Power packed. The only personal letter of the Apostle Paul.  Beth talks really fast, with her southern Texas accent, so she was able to cover a lot of "ground".  I learned so much about this little Book and look forward to digging in this Book a bit more over the coming weeks.  Here are some thoughts from Beth's study of Philemon during our session this past weekend:

• P - Providence (God) has a strange way of catching up with us.
• H - Heading forward sometimes necessitates going back.  Sometimes God moves us back so we can go forward. 
• I - Involving other eyes on all sides is genius in volatile and even delicate matters.
• L -Loves sake is the keepsake.  Be willing to reconcile, willing to restore.
• E- Every WHAT in your life has a corresponding WHY.
• M- Much of the good that is in us, stays in us until forced out.  
• O- Only the most courageous will keep loving by faith.  We all have heard and often choose to live by faith, but sometimes in difficult situations we have to choose to love by faith too. 
• N- No ministry is more like Christ than the ministry of reconciliation. 

I think many of us have found ourselves in situations with other believers where we are just befuddled by the choices they have consciously made, and they are probably befuddled by ours. We make decisions in our own head based on how we see the situation, not how they see or have perceived it themselves. Confusion sets in. Walls go up. Hearts are broken. We make vows to not love, not trust, not believe in , not live (by faith).  We are human, it is not unnatural that we make these choices but if we are able to live by faith and then love by faith, God will see us through to reconciliations end.  Praise be to God, that as much as I can remember  I do not currently have any broken relationships that need restoration, but I have walked this path before and I can say that I have been fully reconciled to the people where confusion once was.  

~Yet for Love's Sake,

Lynnie

*daylight is coming

These two pictures were taken early one morning on my quick drive to take Henry to school.    I am constantly arrested by God's beauty all around me and I love to share such beauty on my side of the world!  Since my camera was not in the car with me, I used the camera on my Droid. I was quite pleased with the capture!

The dawn is breaking.  Thankfully He IS our rear guard!

(~we currently have a working offer on our home in NC, appraisal, inspections etc ensue. If all goes well, the new owners will take possession in less than a month!  Thanks to each of you who have prayed over this along with us!)

*fullness of life

I saw this quote somewhere and decided to search it origin. Melody Beattie, is the author and I love reading through some of her quotes. One that is very timely for Labor Day is also a favorite of mine. 

"From labor health, from health contentment springs.”- Melody Beattie

 Happy Labor Day! 


Lynnie

Shared on Domestically Divine

*arrested by wonder

It was a cold January day of this year that the book arrived in our new  Florida home rural mail box. A book that has a lovely cover, one that almost drew me to the book all on its own. In addition, blogs I have read mentioned this book, this idea, this new (lost) way of living. Practicing life daily in a way that will rearrange the way you live and see things.

I often looked at the book's pretty cover but simply couldn't find the quietness in my soul to start the read.  During this past spring my older sister was visiting with her daughter (Kierstyn) and we were laying out by the pool.  Lori was reading a book on her beloved Nook.  I started to tell her of this beautiful little book and how wonderful it must be, how I had ordered it and that I was going to read a few chapters out loud at that very moment. I ran in to get the book. I proceeded to get comfy in a lawn chair and slowly start the read. I did not get too far before I felt like I best not read out loud anymore because my niece was listening too and the line I was about to read told of a tragic accident which was what I thought too much for Kierstyn.  It probably would have been fine to have read out loud, but I stopped at that point and decided to just encourage Lori to buy the book on her Nook to read for herself.  I find it funny that I was encouraging her so strongly to purchase and read this book without even having read it myself.   Since that warm spring day out by the pool, I had picked the book up only on two short occasions to continue the read but I simply couldn't get "into" the book at all.

It  has now been 6 months since this beautiful book arrived in our rural mail box.  Six months. I mean, yes I have been busy with things here, but I wish I had stopped to really get into what Ann was trying to convey in her book, One Thousand Gifts. You see, she is a very artistic writer and in the beginning I just wasn't following her style of writing. I wasn't getting it. I just wanted the facts Jack. Just the facts. Too much fluff in the writing for me (at that time).  When I picked the book up again this past month, I have been savoring it, each word.  A lovely book indeed, both by cover and contents. The book has done a beautiful job of helping me desire more of Him. To desire that my eyes are open wide to things that are hidden in plain sight!  Lord help me to be arrested by wonder!

I have now developed the habit of recording my grace moments, my gifts, my eucharisteo!  I carry a little notebook in my purse, there is one in the kitchen and one by my bedside as well as in my sewing room.  I started my first journal entry out with a number, 1 of course, but I am not numbering from there on out, because I should live life full of eucharisteo - fully until my days are no more. To number is pointless (to me). 

To live full of eucharisteo, is to live fully.

I know this is going to be a new way of living to me. I am by no means new to Godly living, to living with Godly princeaples but to seek out Him, to give thanks for such things as the squirrels frisking around in the tops of the trees, my son misbehaving in a particular situation (so we could later get to the heart of things), for the potential offer on our home that brought hope.  It helps me to focus on Him and not me. It helps me to remember that God ordains all my steps and He has attended to each detail and when I notice and give thanks that is when a miracle comes.

I am forever grateful to Ann Voskamp for sharing this part of her story thus far with me (anyone who reads her book or blog).   So, on my list a few days ago, you would see this if you looked at it : Ann Voskamp's willingness to be used by You.

I do not believe that we have a particular pattern or set list of things we need to do in order to live a successful Christian life. However, for me, this book has come at His timing in my life, to reposition me. To turn me around and point me in the direction that I need to proceed in.  I don't know about you, but I sometimes get off track a bit and am grateful for the turn about. It is my hope that I will learn to be full of joy in all things. That I, like Paul, will learn - learn- to be content in all things, whether it is much or little; pain or happiness overflowing, in the good and bad things that come our way, I want to embrace each of them with eucharisteo - that is my desire.  I want to see the things that so often pass my eyes by.

Lord, arrest my eyes by the wonder of Your hands in this life story that You are writing in and through my life!

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and her willingness to be used by God in the way of writing her story, her struggle and experience has been the inspiration of this post. I recommend this book to you. You can find more information out about Ann and her book, her blog by going here.

(the different fungus that you see in the pic's above are a few of the ones I began to take note of all around our property during a wet spot in our weather a few weeks ago. I was arrested with wonder.)

*rejoice!

Today, even though I feel like this sunflower looks, I rejoice!  I rejoice because I have no reason to not rejoice!  I am tired, I am worn out, and I am ready for a break, but I rejoice!  We have been so very blessed by a ground that has burst forth with healthy hearty vegetable plants that have yielded more than we imagined (reminds me of Ephesians 3:20).   I hope you are having a great day and enjoying where ever it is that God has you today!

*fruit forthcoming

Gardening is something I come by honestly.  My parents have always had beautiful gardens that produce an abundance of goods. I would consider both my  mom and dad master gardeners and I am so grateful that I learned so much about gardening by their sides.   When I was a little girl, you could find me outside working with momma and daddy while you would find my older sister inside doing a jam up job completing the daily household chores.  Not much has changed.  She is still a great cleaner and I am a pretty good gardener.

Last year we did not have a garden. We thought we were moving earlier than we are, so we forwent the whole gardening thing.  We ended up traveling quite a bit last summer so it all worked out for the best. This year however, while we still did not know our move date, we tilled an area closer to the house and on the upper part of our property instead of our normal gardening spot. I am so glad we did.  As I linger in the small garden, pulling weeds and checking the plants, I am realizing now just how much I missed the garden last year. 

These pictures were taken just yesterday afternoon when the plants had just gotten their evening watering. The plants, though slow going at first, are looking just beautiful.  Some of them when first put in the ground, wilted so heavily that parts of the plant dried up and fell off. I was so ready to pull the plant up... toss it aside and plant another in its place. But I did not do so, ONLY because my dear husband told me to just leave them and give them a little longer.  He was right, the tomato  plants are just gorgeous and a few of them have fruit already.   Last night we had a S T O R M.  The weather forecast had been predicting rain for days now, though it has not rained in weeks.  I think it all came at one time last night along with some very high winds.  As it was pouring down, Eric and I were at the windows looking as if we might be able to see in the dark whether our plants were being beat up by the hail or not.  Turns out the plants seems to have only taken little damage.  There are a few holes in the leaves on the squash plants and a few of the tomato plants were a bit blown over.. but not to the degree that one might think.  The storm was sure to decimate it all.

Do you ever feel this way in life, real life? Like the storm is so heavy that you are going to have such dints in your armor which make you wonder if your armor is any good at all anymore? Just like gardening and the things the plants have to endure - sometimes internal attacks then again sometimes external, we sometimes in life have to endure these things too.  Our attacks come from without and from within.  The gardener who has tended and waited and waited a bit more knows how much the growth of the garden is outside of his human hands. The sprouting of the tiny seeds, the elements, external conditions, the plant reaching maturity then blooming and bearing fruit.. these things and much else lie beyond the  work of the hands of the gardener.  But in His tender care, through the  every day life and what it brings, through the storm much fruit will be forthcoming if we can just hold on.