Monday, August 6

*not your normal "farm" feel good post

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Do you know some one who has an addiction to a substance that seemingly controls them? Such things as alcohol, nicotine, prescription drugs, food or even others? You know I think for many of us it is just sickening. We can't even understand why someone would get hooked on such things and just stay there, well it is likely that we will never understand it, the ones doing don't understand it either. I know personally I have lived years being angry at my own father for his choices in his alcoholism. (I have written two other post on my beloved father, and I wish you to read them before you get any further. Go HERE, and HERE. Then proceed) That will give you a little background on my father.

Somehow along the way my father got a kink in his hose. You know, things stopped flowing out properly, and I have to believe that even as a young person, long before he imagined he would have three girls, he tried to figure out where the kink was.  Seemingly, by looking back at his past he really never figured out where the kink was or even how to give the finding of it over the Jesus. Does that make sense?  I don't even pretend to know what happened, why it happened or why it is that he has not been set free up til this day.  I am not saying that my dad lives a "hum drum depressed all the time" life (if you read the other two post you would read of some good times). But the constant of joy in his life has not been present.  I have to believe that forgiveness has played a big part in his life, or the lack there in.  And in so, the things that entered his life have had power over him, and that of course is not God's will for any of us. That something in our lives have power over us.  Forgiveness is not for the one who hurts us, for they may never know, but it is for us. Don't let unforgiveness kink the hose of your life, the source of water is there.

My father I think has dealt with some things over the last few years, he has become more tender in his older age. He has a lot of time alone to think and work through some things. I have to believe that God speaks to his heart. I trust that with all I am, whether it be through a show he watches that gets him thinking, or a kind action someone shows him, undeserved love from one of his daughters even when he is unloving or unkind, or even in dreams.  My sisters and I (as well as others)  have been calling out his name to our Father in Heaven for years now for his salvation. I believe that on this side, he will come fully wholeheartedly to Christ.

He has recently, well 2+ months ago, stopped consuming the poison that has slowly deteriorated his body over the last 45 years.  It is an addiction. He has tried to quit before. Succeeded for a short while. Will I say to myself... oh, we have been here before? NO. No I will not, I will say, Lord even if he doesn't know it is you, will You strengthen him to make it through? I have to believe for him even if he can't believe for himself. He even spoke of DT's a few weeks ago and how he got past them.  If you have someone in your life that is dealing with a similar situation I think you have to make your self available to them in deed and in love. Yes, he had a choice to make years ago and chose poorly, so what? I choose poorly often, but God doesn't withhold His love from me. I am not saying be an enabler at all, I am just saying it might help that person if you offer unconditional love.

If you have read this far (I don't normally like reading long post about people's personal lives whom I do not know, nor do I write about them that often), would you say a heart felt prayer for my father? This place he finds himself really is a battle, perhaps an out and out war!  I want to see him win. I want to see him have clarity of mind, a restored life and that fullness of life that Christ speaks of. Thanks in advance for your labor in prayer for my father, and thanks for reading this through, I guess my  daddy is heavy on my heart today.


  1. Thanks for the reminder and praying for your precious daddy. ~Trina

  2. Many blessings to you all as you take one day at a time together...:)


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